Ever been disappointed by a ‘classic’ novel? I certainly have been. From Dickens to Austen, here are a few of my greatest gripes.
- Great Expectations
Well, I had them. This had so much promise for me: the intriguing Miss Havishamhem, the agonising relationship between Pip and Estelle, the curious case of the convict. However, like all Dickens’ novels, it’s full of painfully earnest Victorian Mr Men characters called Mr Chufflepiffle or Mr Goodbutpoor. They begin every sentence by exclaiming “Oh!”. I soon became Ms Cantbeasked.
2. Pride and Prejudice
Mr Bennet and his family, who receive an annual income equivalent to $160,000 in modern money, wish to see their daughters wed men of ‘good fortune’. Mr Darcy is such a man and I dislike him and his class discrimination immensely. One nice action for the woman you desperately fancy and splashing money on a new piano for your sister doth not a philanthropist make. Meanwhile, time-rich Jane Bennet spends most of the novel following Mr. Bingley around in a sinister fashion that is dressed-up as ‘romance’. And by ‘follow around’, I mean she stays at his house for several days after they meet once at a ball and then rather alarmingly pursues him all the way to London.
3. The Count of Monte Cristo
This could have been my greatest love. Derring dos. Adventure. Revenge. I couldn’t wait for the swashbuckling to commence. It turns out that I had to. I was deep into the novel and Dantes had no sense of urgency. For anything. What. So. Ever. Get on with it: will the vengeful bloke get Mondego back or not?!
Have you been disappointed by a classic novel?